AUs

[goodknightdaddy]

Smutsmutsmut

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[ehnnui]

[His head is spinning. He reluctantly lets Kierean's hand go, but his eyes are focusing on some point not really within reality, as his mind races.

That's... that's him, isn't it? Kierean... thought of him as a son? Was going to adopt him? He'd had... a very different impression of the man's intentions at the time, but it wasn't like Kierean gave him any reason to think that way. It was simply the only frame of reference he had, when it came to dealing with adults.

There's a brutal pang of guilt, for thinking Kierean would take advantage of him like that. No matter how much he didn't know better. He does now and he feels disgusting, for how much he wants the man even now.

...But he's just been shown vulnerability. He can't fuck this up.]

... You have my condolences, sir. He would have been very lucky, to have a father like you.

[goodknightdaddy]

[There's a soft look to Keirean's stoic face and he gently pats Kamukura's shoulder.]

Thank you for saying so. You wished to talk a while, what would you like to speak about?

[Hopefully something less sad! He feels a bit bad dumping all that on a sick and injured young man who has nothing to do with it. Maybe he really is getting old.]

[ehnnui]

[his arm twitches, like he wants to grab for him again, but he resists the urge.]

...I don't know, admittedly. How long was I out?

[goodknightdaddy]

Hm.

[He glances at the clock.]

Almost twelve hours. You had me a bit worried. Are you hungry?

[ehnnui]

[DON'T BE LEWD!!!!!! DON'T DO IT!!!!]

...I should probably eat something, regardless of hunger.

[goodknightdaddy]

[Fight hard buddy.]

I'll send for something easy on the stomach.

[He moves to get up.]

[ehnnui]

[oops he's snagging Kierean's wrist before his brain catches up enough to stop him.]

[goodknightdaddy]

Sir Kamukura?

[ehnnui]

...

Sorry...

[he lets go.]

[goodknightdaddy]

Don't apologize. You can speak freely if you wish.

[ehnnui]

...Come back soon?

[goodknightdaddy]

...I will.

[In fact he only goes out of the room a moment to summon a servant before returning to sit on the edge of the bed.]

[ehnnui]

Thank you...

[even softer than usual. he's embarrassed to be so needy. feels terrible about what he's discovered. but he doesn't want to let kierean out of his sight.]

[goodknightdaddy]

Of course. Forgive me if this is disrespectful, but you're a young man. An adult and competent, yes. But it's all right to feel lonely or uncertain now and then. You needn't try to be perfect. Our factions may be enemies but right now you're simply the young knight who saved my life today. Please be at ease while you recover.

[ehnnui]

I... don't wish to disappoint you. But if you say it is all right, I will have to accept that it is.

[goodknightdaddy]

...You don't wish to disappoint me?

[That's hardly what he expected to hear.]

[ehnnui]

I don't.

[with an air of feverish insistence, not explanation.]

[goodknightdaddy]

...Why?

[ehnnui]

You're good.

[goodknightdaddy]

[He just, looks confused. The touches Kamukura's head again in concern.]

And you worry I'll be disappointed by you?

[ehnnui]

[soooo feverish]

I don't want to disappoint you... I don't want to be your enemy. I won't be. No matter what.

[goodknightdaddy]

[Worrying.

But the words... he has no reason to, but he believes them. It'd take a truly amazing actor to pull off such sincerity while this sick. But he's also old enough to know that life doesn't always go how you plan. Kamukura may not plan to be his enemy now but circumstances may force him in the future.

Still, he believes in the sincerity of Kamukura's wishes at least. And gently pats his head.]

All right. To be honest, I don't want to be your enemy either.

I know little about you. Or why you dread my disappointment. But the person you should be hoping never to disappoint is yourself. Live to your own standards, minimize your own regrets. And I should say this as well, have more regard for your well being.

[ehnnui]

[he shakes his head, but also kind of headbutts into the pat? it's a confused motion.]

It's better... if I do things this way. Focusing on- what's important.

[like it's not too late to try and avoid shamelessly admitting that he's just SO focused on kierean.]

[goodknightdaddy]

What is important to you?

[ehnnui]

[how the fuck is he supposed to answer that

ssssilence?]